no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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