The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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