So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
