He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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