my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Small penises have feelings too.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
