oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
