hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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