A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
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