yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize