That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
