best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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