Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
