So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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