The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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