you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I did not marry a roomba.
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