Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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