Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
How's work?
Spinning.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
