I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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