i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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