remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So drunk its hurt
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
