do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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