def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
