Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
