Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
