youre lurking in front of me
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
