talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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