Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
this hospital has no fireball
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
