I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
