On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize