what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
