hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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