I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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