This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
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