Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Randomize
