You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
