You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
