So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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