508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
