Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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