You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
