I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize