So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
