This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
