i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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