I'm jealous of your bromance
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize