spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
