i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
