The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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