Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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