She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Randomize
