Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
