She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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