I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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