Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
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