Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
