And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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