I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm eating all of the evidence.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
