I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
How's work?
Spinning.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
