she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
