You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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